Drinking game
by aldus moore
Summary: The Good Doctor finds Clarice, Ardelia, Crawford, Chilton and some others in a rather unexpected and awkward situation.


**_Drinking Game_**

Disclaimer: Yesterday I was so drunk that I looked like an Irish sailor. So you know from where this idea came from. This can end in two possible ways: You will hate me or you will love me with all your heart and we will be BFF with Paris Hilton as well.

Tata.

Hope you like it.

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><p>He had a problem. A big problem, a huge one. However, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful his problem was. His problem was a woman who was supposed to be the person to bring him to jail to end his freedom, deny him his life.<p>

And yet, he was there, parking his stupidly luxurious car (one of those, my dear reader, that neither You and I will ever have. Life is such a bitch) in front of her house, covered by the shadows of a rather large tree at the dimly moonlight.

He exited the car slowly, surveying the street.

No one was there. How convenient.

His dark sleek hair matched a new pair of green contact lenses instead of his exquisite natural maroon eyes.

He was now at the door of Clarice Starling's house. A beat. Click. A beat. He was inside. At the very moment when his foot touched the house's floor, his senses caught a change on the atmosphere.

She was not alone. There was a woman and two men. The Good Doctor wrinkled his nose in distaste. What the hell were Jack Crawford AND Dr. Chilton at Starling's house? At the same time?

Dr. Lecter was prepared to take his leave before he had to deal with an uncomfortable situation. Nonetheless said situation presented itself with Ardelia Mapp clumsily stepping over a table and falling unceremoniously to the floor.

Ever the gentleman, Lecter took her hand noticing the heavy aroma of alcohol emanating from the very drunk woman.

"Oh, my head. Thank you so much" Ardelia said. However, when she lifted her eyes to him, a dumb mischievous smile appeared on her face. "Hey Clare! Didn't know you were hiding such a hottie in here. Come on handsome, have a good time with us"

Somewhat, somehow Count Hannibal Lecter VIII was dragged to a room in order to find what he would have never thought he would find.

Chilton and Crawford were sitting one next to the other on the couch, while hugging and singing 'material girl' with two bottles of Jack Daniels on their hands.

Meanwhile Clarice was sprayed on the floor trying to unsuccessfully bring the glass of vodka to her lips, but failing and spilling some of the contents on her white blouse.

When she looked at the poor dumbfounded doctor, she snorted and laughed pointing at him with a finger.

"Well hello there cutie!" He breathed deeply.

"Hello Clarice" He had no other chance to respond because 'Delia made him sit between her and the drunk lady. (please my dear reader, this may seem OOC, but what would you do when you find the woman you love, her friend, her pathetic boss and a... jackass all drunk in a room?)

"So, tell me sweetie, who are you?" Ardelia said.

"I am an old friend of Clarice" Ardelia brought her hand to her mouth.

"Clarice? you have other friends apart from me? You cheated on me! I thought what we had was special!"

"You know that we are living in a material world and we are material girls!" Crawford shouted from the couch hugging Chilton.

"Don't blame me girl. People love me. I am like Lady Gaga but with a prettier nose" Hannibal raised both eyebrows at Clarice's statement.

"Hey handsome, don't look at her like that. She's right, Gaga's nose is crooked dick"

"Gaga? Lady Gaga? I love Lady Gaga! 'Cause baby I was born this way!" Lecter made a mental note to have Chilton for dinner.

"You know, I am a little drunk but he reminds me of someone" Starling declared signaling the poor little creature that was now Hannibal the Cannibal.

"Oh Oh, I know! He looks like my aunt Rosie" If looks could kill, Crawford would be digging his own grave.

"DAFUQ? No! Rosie is creepy, old and creepy! This guy is rather pretty mmm.." Ardelia eyed him with a little more interest that she should

"You remind me of Hannibal Lecter" Clarice cried. The Good Doctor was ready to flee as fast as he could when a comment tickled his curiosity.

"Don't tell me Clare that you still have the hots for him"

Clarice covered her face.

"Ardelia, shut the fuck up!"

"Oh come on! I hear you moan his name at night, for God's sake!" Crawford opened one eye.

"Lecter? I fucking hate that bastard"

"I don't" everyone looked at Chilton "It's true. I never hated him. I mean, he is so intelligent and smart and clever. And charming! He is fucking sexy and he knows it!" Chilton began sobbing. Crawford petted his back with empathy "Look, I don't know who you are but if you are Hannibal, let me tell you I never hated you, bro. Gimme a bro fist"

Chilton tried to move his hand but fell on Crawford's lap.

"Everybody is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time! Yeah, that's the attitude, show us your moves Clarice! Come on, shake it girl shake it! Everyday I am shuffling!

"Hey guys, I didn't find the toilet so I peed on a black jaguar in front of the house. Who the hell left that car there?" Said a very drunk Paul Krendler.

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><p>OH MAI FUCKIN GAWD<p>

I will never drink vodka and whisky at the same time ._.


End file.
